There's a deal here that gives it potential, but you need to develop a greater tightness to the language.

Starting from the premise that every word should be doing something, working hard, in poetry, I'd cut-compress-condense. As an example, "O, A starry sky, so bright and calm./Flowing so calmly as you dream in tightly curled ball" might become, "O, A starry sky, so bright and calm/ flows gentle as you dream, tightly curled." The words have added power because the flow's not broken be extraneous words. Equally, my example's lost the repetition of calm.

Think about line breaks - I like the unequal lengths, I think that aids the dreamy nature, but especially "Beginning..." loses impact because of the length of the line, try a line break at "day,/you" and "dream".

Having huffed at repetition before, I think the Lonely Dream repetition towards the end is effective in emphasising the positive that comes from the experience, and having a single lined stanza to close adds to that impact.

Overall I think that it's a piece that's got great potential (including for submission), if you tweak the structure slightly, and I especially like the fact that you're taking a quiet, slightly maudlin moment and somersaulting it to a positive experience - one the reader's bound to recognise. Good work.